27 and Two Months

Late May/early June is birthday time around here. Jeremy turned 27 on May 22, and I followed yesterday. No big deal there, though...we've been celebrating birthdays for years (getting so close to 30 though-scary!). The big news is this:

I can't believe my girls are two months old already! It's been a challenging two months, to say the least, but we're making it! I have enjoyed the time at home bonding with my girls, and I'm a little sad that I only have three more weeks at home with them. I am thankful they will be staying with my sweet mom in Scottsboro, where I can see them at lunch every day, and I am extremely thankful to have a flexible job where I will hopefully be able to swing a day off every now and then to spend the day with my babies. : )

So, here's a little bit about what my precious girls are up to at 2 months of age:

"Little Addison," as I call her often is proving she's not so little anymore. At her two-month checkup, she weighed in at an impressive 8 lbs, 12 oz...exceeding our expectations! She is 21 inches long, and is in the 10th-11th percentile for her size based on actual age (there is a separate scale for adjusted age, where she is only about 3.5 weeks old...she's a little higher on that one!).

In the past week or so, Addison has suddenly become very alert and aware of her surroundings. She is constantly looking around in every direction when she's up where she can see. She seems to be a little more serious and thoughtful than her sister right now, although she is also the one who smiles more easily at times. (Neither baby is smiling very much in reaction to us yet, but it's coming!) Addison has certainly found her appetite over the last few weeks. Gone are the days of force-feeding this child! She is now as voracious an eater as her sister, and will chase the bottle down with a wide-open mouth. Addie loves to lay on someone's chest, preferably her mama, daddy, or Jen-Jen (my mom), and lately we've noticed that she likes to bury her head and get snug and cozy.

Although I try very hard not to "label" my babies, I do confess that at times I refer to Addison as my little drama queen. When she drops her pacifier at night, there is no "crying it out"-the child gets louder and louder while her sister sleeps soundly next to her (thank goodness for that!). She is also the bigger "talker" already...making lots of sounds that may also turn into shrill whines at any moment. We love this baby, with all her sounds and funny faces, more than we ever thought possible, and we can't wait to watch her grow and learn all kinds of new things!

Miss Mackenzie, or "Chunky Monkey," is quite the little charmer. At two months, she is weighing in at 9 lbs, 4 oz. The surprising part about that is that she's only 8 oz. ahead of her sister! She gained her weight back so much faster (hence my nickname for her), and has felt so much bigger than Addison for many weeks, so we were surprised to see how fast Addie is catching up. She is also 21 inches long, and falls in the 10th-12th percentile for her actual age.

If Addison is the drama queen, Mackenzie is my laid-back, go-with-the-flow child. She is much less vocal than her sister, but when she actually cries, she means business! She is also very alert, and loves to stare at a spot just above your head...making you wonder what could possibly be so fascinating. Though her smiles are a little more difficult to come by, they light up her whole face and melt our hearts just as quickly as her sister's do. Mackenzie is a pretty sound sleeper once she's out (again, thankful for that!), and she is more likely to lull herself back to sleep. It's almost as if it's not worth her effort to get all worked up over a lost pacifier; she'd rather just snooze!

Both girls absolutely love being outside, and will instantly relax. Their fussy time of day is from about 5:00 pm until bedtime. I've heard it called the witching hour?? It definitely strikes around our house. Don't think I haven't considered moving the pack n' play to the front porch! : ) Because of this difficult time of day, my mom is still coming on the nights Jeremy works to help me with the fussiness and bath and bedtime. They LOVE their baths, but expect to be held or get a bottle immediately after, which I can't quite manage on my own just yet! Mom lends an extra pair of hands and stays until I get them down, bless her heart.

Even with all the extra work, the lack of sleep, the endless laundry and bottles to be washed, these girls have truly made our lives so much richer than we could ever have imagined. And it's only the beginning! I love each and every day with them, and I'm so excited for what God has in store for their little lives.

We never imagined we'd be a family of four at 27!! : )

My New (Temporary) Home

Well, the girls and I stuck it out as long as we could, but I'm writing today from the antepartum unit of Huntsville Hospital. This lovely little room will be my home until the girls make their appearance...or until they decide to move me to a different room, which I hear happens a lot.

My appointment last Monday was just fine; everything was normal, as it has been for awhile. Thursday, the monitoring was fine and the girls' heartrates were just as they should be and I was having no major contractions. My blood pressure, however, had jumped up and there were trace amounts of protein in my urine...signals of possible preeclampsia. I had some more tests done on Thursday and Friday, and when I got to my appointment yesterday, I got the news that I would be admitted to the hospital until it's time to deliver.

Basically, I'm here so my blood pressure and bloodwork can be monitored closely, since preeclampsia can escalate quickly. If that should happen, the only treatment is to deliver the babies. So the new plan is that I will lay around here for about a week and a half, and if nothing happens, Addison and Mackenzie's expected birthday is now April 8 (when I will be 36 weeks exactly). For now, I'm hanging out in the bed most of the time, catching up on some reading and watching lots of tv!

Still Here

I am still here, and no, we don't have babies yet! At Monday's appointment, I was still contracting pretty much the whole time. We had an ultrasound done, and the fluid looks good on both babies. They are weighing in at 4lbs. 6oz. and 4lbs. 8oz.!! Almost 9lbs of babies in there... no wonder my belly is feeling heavy.
At Thursdays appointment, I was having fewer contractions. The doctor said we will just have to see how long I stay pregnant! Comforting, right? Every few days they stay in there makes a huge difference, so I'm setting goals a few days at a time. The 10th is three weeks from yesterday, so right now we just hope to get through this week. Then we will move on to next week. The rest of our furniture came in this weeks, so we (Jeremy, actually) will be assembling it today. The replacement crib legs for one crib are still backordered, so it looks like there will be only one crib set up for the time being. That's okay, since I was planning on letting them share at first anyway. I will be glad to have the rest of the furniture up...one less thing to worry about.
As of yesterday at 4:30, I am officially on maternity leave. I had planned to work at least another week, but with all the action over the past couple of weeks, the doctor and I decided it was time. I have lots to keep me busy, but I tend to get lazy when I stay at home too long so I will really have to work to make myself focus on getting things accomplished. There will be plenty of resting involved too, I'm sure! Everything is starting to happen so fast all of a sudden...but we're coping! : )

Four More Weeks!

Wow...that sounds so close. At this point, I'm just hoping and praying we make it the next four weeks! At my NST yesterday, we discovered I was having contractions. I didn't feel anything, not even the Braxton-Hicks type I've been feeling every once in awhile! The girls did great for yesterday's testing, showing off their great movements and heart rates very quickly. It was pretty scary to hear the doctor say I was contracting, but she checked my cervix and decided I didn't need to go to the hospital at the moment. I started taking procardia, to hopefully stop the contractions, since they may have been triggered by the steroid shots earlier this week. It's just a little scary to know I was having contractions without even knowing it. I've been paying very close attention to my body since yesterday morning...trying not to worry, but of course that's much easier said than done. I can really tell the babies have dropped in the last week or so, and tonight I can feel a head (or other body part?) pressing on my left hip bone when I sit a certain way. It's still so strange to think there are two little beings in there, who are now fully formed and could theoretically be in my arms at almost any time (though hopefully not before April 10!). Isn't life amazing?
I am now under orders to begin "living a life of leisure" for the next couple of weeks, and to hang out on the couch a little more than usual. No more full days of work for me, though I plan to work a little next week to get things in order. It's strange to think of someone else having to cover my work for the next couple of months, and I want to tie everything up as neatly as possible for them. I have several projects to work on, but I'm so restless it's hard to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. It's like my mind is going at three times the speed of my body lately (in case you can't tell by the disjointed tone of this post). I'm not sleeping well, and let me just tell you, nighttime tv pretty much stinks! I have seen more episodes of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" in the last week than I have seen in probably two years. It's all about my body's preparation for newborns, right? In just FOUR WEEKS I will be quite busy in the middle of the night, with little time to sit and stare at the tv!

Home Stretch Blues....

Maybe "blues" is a bit strong, but it sounded like a good title, right? : )
I'm in the home stretch of this pregnancy, and it gets harder and harder every day. I've complained a lot lately, so I won't go into all the details, but I am feeling quite sorry for myself these days. There's so much I need to do, but I just don't have the energy to accomplish much at all. I have my first non-stress test (NST) today, along with a steroid injection to help the babies' lungs develop a little more quickly. I go tomorrow for the second steroid injection, then Thursday for another NST. Three appointments this week! It is my understanding that the NSTs will continue twice a week until we deliver next month, so they will be seeing my face quite a bit at the doctor's office.
Our last baby shower was Saturday, and we got lots of great things! I need to post a picture of the piles of baby gifts that are scattered all over the house. The dogs came home from my mom's yesterday, and when Petey Grace saw the big pile of stuff in the living room, she grabbed a teddy bear off the top and took off with it! She looked so happy, like she thought we had gotten her a welcome home gift. : ) I am going to pick them up some new toys this week so hopefully they won't feel as tempted to steal all the pink toys building up around here.
My goals for this week include getting all the gifts sorted and organized, and starting to wash some of the smallest outfits that the girls will wear first. Our dresser/changing table will be ordered today, as will the rocking chair, and hopefully they will both be in by next weekend so Jeremy can get them assembled. One crib is together, but we had to order a replacement leg because one of the others was cracked. It should be here any day, then both cribs will be ready! We are going to put them together in one to begin with, but I am excited to see them both up and waiting for our little girls!

Life These Days

Some things I'm loving right now, in no particular order:
--Actually being able to see the little bodies moving around in my very big belly. It's the coolest thing ever, and Jeremy was finally able to catch them in action this weekend. In the evenings, I just sit on the couch with my shirt pulled up over my belly and watch them moving under my skin.
--Six and a half weeks until I meet my girls for real!!
--About five more weeks of work until maternity leave...assuming there's no bed rest or complications between now and then.
--Lime green paint in the nursery (actually "gecko green," by Valspar). I love bright colors...hopefully Addison and Mackenzie will too! The furniture is hopefully on its way and should be here this weekend or next week.
--Sonic ice, Sonic Diet Dr. Pepper, Sonic unsweet tea...get the idea? My current favorite is a large water with lime slices in it. It lasts me a couple of hours, by the time I eat the ice and limes! You can't beat it for 53 cents, and that's not even during happy hour.
--60 degree weather the rest of the week. I have a feeling the flip-flops will make an appearance before the week is over.
--Jeremy's weekends off. This is something we have not been able to enjoy in years, and it's been really nice. We can run errands, work on projects at home, and be lazy together. What a concept! We've watched more movies together (at home, of course...who has the energy to stand in line at the theater? certainly not me!) in the past month than we have in probably the last six months combined.

Okay, so those are a few of the good things (and I promise there are many, many more). Now, for a little balance, I will get out a few of my complaints:
--Feeling like my midsection weighs 40 pounds. I am just beginning to experience the true and constant physical discomfort of carrying two babies, but man, getting up after sitting down for an hour or so is no pleasant experience!
--Tossing and turning at night...lay on right side, right hip goes numb...switch and repeat.
--Getting up approximately 4-5 times per night to go to the bathroom. I have never been one to get up in the night, not even when I was little. I wake up, go to the bathroom, realize I'm extremely thirsty and take a long drink of the ice water that's constantly within reach, then go back to sleep. Two hours or so later, the process begins again. It's a vicious cycle. (In the interest of full disclosure, sometimes I have to have a midnight snack before falling back asleep also!)
--Not being able to eat what I want. I don't have true gestational diabetes, but I do have a slight glucose intolerance. I had to go to a class at the Diabetes Control Center to learn how to balance my meals to keep my glucose level from rising. Truthfully, it has not been that bad...the most important thing I had to do was cut out the Dr. Pepper and fruit juice to make a big difference (and I always thought all the fruit was supposed to be good for you!). That being said, I did have myself a pity party last night because I really wanted to make a pan of brownies. When else besides pregnancy can I give in to those cravings without feeling like a big pig?? I ate a small chocolate marshmallow bunny instead, but it just wasn't the same.
--Swollen ankles...how am I supposed to wear the cute dress I bought for my March shower when my ankles are roughly the size of softballs?!

I will stop the complaints there, and say a prayer of thanks for the blissfully healthy and uncomplicated pregnancy I have had. I am incredibly lucky to be carrying two healthy babies, and as long as they continue to stay that way, and to stay where they are for the next six weeks, all the complaints will be worth it a million times over.

Here's to a life full of blessings that far outweigh the complaints!!

Good Friday!!

Yes, that would be Good Friday as in the Friday before Easter, which just happens to be April 10 this year. It also happens to be the day that we are now scheduled to have our baby girls!! I had a great appointment yesterday, except for a shot in my behind, which I have not had in many, many years. : )

The girls are both weighing over 2 lbs. now. In fact, as Dr. C. put it, we have "one big baby and one monster baby." That's encouraging, if a little scary! We decided to for sure proceed with a scheduled c-section, since Baby B (Mackenzie) is still breech and is the "monster baby," which decreases the likelihood she would turn after Baby A is born. Jeremy and I are good with this decision, and the doctor fully supports it, so we are good to go in that department (as long as I don't go into labor and arrive at the hospital 9cm dilated, that is!). So we are all penciled in for April 10. The scary thing about that is that it's 10 WEEKS away!! Thinking about that has made a lot of things hit home for us, including how incredibly much we have left to do.

We are attending a Marvelous Multiples class at the hospital all weekend, but the nursery conversion should be in full swing by next weekend. Pictures to come soon!

25 weeks

I am 25 weeks pregnant this week (though the picture is from last week), and I am beginning to feel every bit of it. I don't have too terribly much to complain about yet, but life is definitely getting more difficult. I am having trouble sleeping...I spend most of the night going back and forth from my left side to the right, then usually wake up starving sometime around 4:00 a.m. Sometimes I can grab a snack and get back to sleep, but sometimes I have to give up and read or otherwise entertain myself until it's time to get up. Because I have a short torso, things have been pretty crowded in my midsection for quite awhile now. The babies aren't kicking me in the ribs or anything, but it is very hard to get a deep breath most of the time, and sitting up straight is quite a challenge. At my last appointment, my belly measured 35 cm. from top to bottom, meaning I'm about the size of someone 32-33 weeks pregnant with a single baby! Scary to imagine what that means for the next few months!! Occasional leg cramps and sciatic nerve pain are my only other physical complaints at the moment, so it could be much, much worse. : )
Our appointment last week went well, and the babies weighed in at 1lb., 9oz. each! They are really beginning to feel like substantial little beings now, and their kicks are getting stronger to prove it. I can see my belly move when I happen to look at the right time, and Jeremy has been able to feel them too. So many new and wonderful things going on!
We are getting to work on the nursery as well. The bedding and a few accessories I ordered have arrived, and we are starting to clean out the bedroom to prepare it to be painted. I haven't decided on just the right paint color yet...such a hard decision! I have started registering and have a couple of showers coming up in the next month or so. It's getting exciting to think about the completed nursery waiting for our two little girls to fill it with life and love (and diapers by the dozens, but that's a whole different story!).
So that's my baby update for the moment. Believe it or not, there are other things going on in our lives...the girls are just taking center stage already!
Tomorrow is a big day for our nation, as President Obama takes office. I can't deny that I would love to be in the midst of it all in Washington, DC, but maybe another year. I must admit I have already teared up a time or two watching the festivities so far, and I'm sure I will again tomorrow. To me, it's not so much the significance of the first black president, but seeing the hope and desire to make this country a better place that Obama inspires in so many people. (That was a really convoluted sentence, but maybe I conveyed my point!) I love to see Obama's devotion to his family, and to watch them proudly standing beside him at such an amazing time. I pray that the new administration can live up to the big hopes that so many in our country have for it. Either way, it seems change is coming!

December Whirlwind

Where has December gone?? I cannot believe Christmas has come and gone already, and by this time next week it will be 2009. Christmas was good, except that Jeremy had to work, which threw off our normal holiday schedule. We opened our gifts to each other on the 23rd, knowing it was the last chance we would have to really sit down together. Plus, Jeremy can't stand surprises, so the suspense of Christmas nearly kills him! He got me a digital video camera, which we are both very excited about learning to use. We'll have to practice on the dogs until the newest subjects arrive. I think the gifts I wrapped for our stockings may have been close to being Jeremy's favorites:

Our house is most definitely a "house divided" when it comes to football, so I guess it's lucky we'll have two kids to display our team spirit! I got each of us a pink onesie and a pacifier clip, Alabama for me, Auburn for him. I think Jeremy already has visions of at least one of his little girls in head-to-toe Auburn wear.

We had Christmas with Jeremy's family the weekend before Christmas, which was nice because everything was not so rushed on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. On Christmas Eve, Jeremy had to have his truck fixed (an electronic part we'd been waiting for came in that day), and the mechanic came to our house to fix it! How nice was that? We didn't make it to his grandparents as planned that morning, but the truck is now fixed and the horn no longer beeps every thirty seconds, so that's definitely a good thing. I headed to Scottsboro for the evening, where my sister and I had Christmas with our dad, then watched a movie at home. I came back home so I could see Jeremy for at least a little while on Christmas morning. My family does breakfast on Christmas morning, although this year we pushed it back to brunch time since I would not have to rush off to get to the celebration with Jeremy's family. Jeremy and I spent a little time together, then he headed to his grandparents' before work and I headed to Scottsboro again. While packing up the presents, I noticed I had a box to his grandfather, which I thought he'd taken. A quick phone call later, we discovered he had my mom's present instead. We quickly met halfway in between the house and his grandparents' to exchange...luckily they only live about 10 minutes away! The rest of my Christmas was spent in Scottsboro, hanging out with my family. We all stayed in our pajamas all day, but Laura did model some new clothes for me:

We tend to get a little restless by the end of the evening on holidays, since staying home so much is a rare occasion for us. We watched Casablanca, snacked, and napped most of the afternoon. Around 9:00, we ventured out to Talk of the Town, where Bruce was having a Pajama Party....we were, quite literally, in our pajamas, of course! We visited with friends and family who had gathered down there for a couple of hours, and I picked up a few things for my tree next year, at 50% off, naturally. After that, we rode through town a little while, letting Laura try out her new GPS. It finally navigated us back home, and this pregnant lady hit the bed. All in all, a great holiday.

Lately I've been telling myself that as soon as Christmas is over, I am really going to get started on baby preparations, so now the time is here! We did confirm at our last ultrasound that they are definitely little ladies. They are growing right on track, actually toward the upper part of the size range right now (yikes!). They are also staying close to the same size, with only about 2 oz. difference, which is a good sign we are hopefully avoiding the complications of TTTS. I am gaining weight a little more quickly now, and I was up ten pounds total at the last visit. All in all, I think the doctor is very pleased with how well we are all progressing, despite our potential for complications. Praise the Lord! Hopefully we can continue this way for a couple more months. I am getting bigger by the day, which is normal of course, but sometimes I wonder if my belly can grow enough to contain these girls for another three and a half months! I am feeling them move now, but still just when I am sitting or lying still. They are definitely getting stronger though, and I'm hoping their daddy can feel them soon! We had a DVD made at our last ultrasound, and it's so fun to watch those little arms and legs flailing around. Hard to believe all that is going on in my abdomen. My favorite point on the video is when she was switching from baby A to baby B...baby B's bottom is right in front of baby A's face, then B starts kicking her little legs right at A's head! It is so funny to watch...I wish I knew how to isolate it and upload it here. I can, however, introduce my girls from their latest ultrasound pictures. Here they are, in all their fuzzy, grainy, black-and-white glory:

Baby A: Mary Addison Hughes (she'll be called Addison)
I think her arm is folded across her chest.

Baby B: Mackenzie Ross Hughes

And finally, my belly at 21 weeks, alongside my new Christmas ornament:

Answered Prayers!!!

We went to our second doctor's visit on Monday. The nurse didn't think we were having an ultrasound, but I was kind of insistent that the doctor had said we could have one, just to make sure everything is okay with the babies. She got the room ready and the doctor came in to do the ultrasound herself. And guess what she most unexpectedly found?? Separate sacs for our babies!! You could just barely seem them when she moved the wand the right way, but they were most definitely there. That means our babies are not momos, and barring other complications, we should have a normal identical twin pregnancy! (Yes, they are still identical, though I have no idea how she knows that.) Praise God! Words cannot explain the relief we have felt over the last few days. It's as if I can really be excited about the pregnancy now, and start to believe that we will bring two babies home with us in April (and not have them in February and spend months in the NICU). I am so thankful for all who have prayed for us over the past couple of weeks, and I ask for your continued prayers for a normal pregnancy! God is so good.

1st Doctor's Visit

I had my first appointment last Thursday, September 11. I wondered a little if that was a bad omen, but honestly, I was just excited to get there and see how things were going. I was being very cautious before the appointment, fully aware of all the things that can go wrong. Little did I know what I was in for!

When we were called back at the doctor's office, we went immediately to the ultrasound room. She got right to the point and got started with the good stuff! It didn't take long to pick out a little bean on the screen, and I laughed and said, "Oh, there it is!" The nurse smiled and said "yes, and here's the other one." Wow!! I'm pretty sure I started laughing and crying at the same time. Jeremy asked if she was "freaking kidding," and that was pretty much all he could say for a little while. She showed us both heartbeats, a solid 118 beats per minute. What an amazing relief that was! I was not completely shocked at the fact that it was twins, as we both have several sets on both sides of our families. The nurse could immediately tell they were identical, though, (more on that in a minute) which is not hereditary. She played around on the screen, showing us everything she could, until the doctor came in. She looked at the screen and said "oh my!" She asked the u/s tech if she saw any trace of a membrane, and they both quickly agreed they did not. I didn't think much about that, as I was still absorbing the idea of identical twins! The doctor noticed a small cyst on my ovary, which she was not very concerned about, and is thinking it is fluid-filled and will go away on its own. Before she left, the doctor said she would get a room ready for us, that we had some things to discuss.

We finished up the ultrasound, getting a couple of pictures and a great 4-d one showing both babies. Then we went to the room to talk with Dr. Callison. I remember the conversation, and I remember absorbing what she was telling us, even if it didn't make a whole lot of sense at the time. I remember thinking things must not be too good when she handed me a box of kleenex, though I managed to maintain composure. To make a very long story short, it appears our babies are monochorionic monoamniotic twins...called "momo twins" for short. (I tried to link to a simple wikipedia definition of the diagnosis, but it's not listed!) Basically, our twins are sharing an amniotic sac, as well as a placenta. It is a result of the egg splitting later than normal after fertilization, and it occurs in about 1% of twin pregnancies (naturally, I would be in the 1%...always have to be different!). I am suddenly an extremely high-risk pregnancy, with the main danger being that, as the babies grow and begin to move, their umbilical cords will wrap around each other and can become knotted. It is very scary, and frustrating to know there's nothing we can do to prevent it from happening. The given mortality rate for these pregnancies is usually quoted at 50%, though I have seen several sites claiming the chances have increased in recent years. My doctor initially said "better than 50%," so I refuse to focus on the negatives. As far as a plan of action goes, I will soon go see a specialist at UAB for a full scan and analysis. I will have ultrasounds every two weeks or so for now, some here and some in B'ham. If I make it to 24 weeks, which is kind of the "line in the sand," as Dr. Callison said (the point at which the babies really have a fighting chance of survival outside the womb, though at 24 weeks there would still likely be major disabilities), I will be admitted to the hospital to begin 24-hour monitoring of the babies. At 28 weeks, the survival rate jumps dramatically, and the longer they can stay in after that, the better off they are. Initial opinion is that the babies will be delivered at 32 weeks, if we make it that far...by c-section, no questions asked on that point! Basically, after I go in the hospital, I can have a c-section at any time if the cords become compressed and the babies go into danger. I should mention that I am around 7 weeks at this point (we never did get around to the more "normal" side of the doctor's visit, so I'm not sure exactly where they dated the babies), which is early, but suddenly it's so much further along than I would normally consider it. When you're talking about a pregnancy that will last a maximum of 32 weeks, 7 weeks is almost a quarter of the way there!

Whew...that was a lot to explain in just a few paragraphs, and it's been even more to comprehend over the past four days. But we are doing our best. I've been researching all I can find on momo twins, which is unfortunately not all that much. I have found a support website, with a message board, where I even stumbled across a girl from Huntsville who is 13 weeks into her momo pregnancy. It's great to have someone nearby that I can talk to already, though we both wish we didn't have a reason to connect, I'm sure. I have managed to find several blogs of families who've had success with their momo twins, which is encouragement that I'm clinging to right now. And, of course, I cling to the knowledge that this is all completely and entirely in the hands of our Heavenly Father. From the time I found out I was pregnant, I have prayed the simple prayer that I've had so much difficulty with in the past, "Not my will, but Yours be done." So here we are. I have never been in less control of my life than I am at this moment. There is absolutely nothing we can do at this point to ensure our babies' safety. Nothing, that is, except relying on the faith that our God is in control. I cannot help but think of Angie's words when she found out the baby she was carrying had complications that were terminal... “I think my Jesus is the same as He was before I walked in here.” That's really what it comes down to, isn't it? Faith that God can heal, but ultimately that He will do whatever it takes to fulfill his ultimate plan. And we are called to carry out that plan, whatever it may be.

So that's what I ask for tonight, prayers that God may heal our children as He sees fit, whatever that means. I am hoping and praying that our miracle babies will be here sometime in March (preferably later rather than sooner). There is a chance of misdiagnosis this early in the pregnancy, meaning we could go back and find there is actually a membrane there (and thus, babies in two separate sacs), which we are praying might happen! Unfortunately, though, the doctor seemed pretty sure and there was no trace of a membrane on the 4-D ultrasound. For the moment, we are as prepared as we can be for this ride, however long it lasts. We appreciate the thoughts and support, and above all, the prayers.

**Written Monday, September 1, 2008**

Well, we've told our parents the big news. We told my mom yesterday while we were in Scottsboro. She doesn't get overly excited about most things, but I know she's happy for us. We told Jeremy's parents tonight, and his mom can't wait until she can start telling everyone. I'm getting more excited as it becomes a little more real, but I'm still keeping it in check until I get to the doctor and make sure everything is okay.

I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday, September 11...I hope that's not a bad sign!! I'm trying to be cautiously positive about the visit, but I won't feel any relief until I see a heartbeat on the ultrasound screen!

Guess who's pregnant??

**written August 28, 2008**

Yep, that would be me. It's still sinking in; I actually haven't let my thoughts go too far yet, but I am very excited. Jeremy and I have been basically "trying" (although I loathe that word and have refused to use it) to conceive for the past couple of months, but I think I'm still sort of surprised. I should have gotten my period last week, but I was a week or so late last month so I waited until this week to really start thinking about it. Yesterday morning, I took a pregnancy test and there was a very faint second line in the window. I just sort of stood there for a minute, trying to let it sink in, see if I felt any different....then I had to get ready for work. : ) I had to run to Walmart after work yesterday, so I bought another test while I was there. I planned to wait until this morning, but I didn't make it. This time I bought the digital pregnancy-test-for-dummies, the kind that literally says "pregnant" or "not pregnant." Sure enough, there it was: Pregnant. Seeing it in plain text made me feel a little more sure about it! After reading the test the second time, I actually laughed out loud. Jeremy was at work, so I got to share the moment with my dogs, who were just hanging out in the hallway hoping I would grab a toy and play with them. (I also think Petey Grace was already eyeing the wrapper I had just thrown in the garbage can.) Since last night when I took the second test, I've been trying to figure out if I've had any symptoms yet. The only thing I'm sure of so far is that my breasts are extremely tender! (Details I don't necessarily have to share, I know, but I want this for a record of exactly what I'm thinking right now!) I also realized that I've gone to bed around 9:00 pm about three times in the past week, which is about an hour and a half before normal.

I was a little unsure about how exactly to tell Jeremy, since I got carried away and didn't wait for him to be here when I took the test. He works second shift, so I knew I would be asleep when he got home, and I hadn't mentioned the test from yesterday morning. I have always said I don't want to get carried away too early on, because I happen to know a little too well that things don't always go as planned. Also, my best friend had a molar pregnancy in the fall, and watching her have to go through that experience has just made me extra cautious. Anyway, point being, there were lots of cute and creative ways I could have told Jeremy, but I'm trying to be practical at this point, more so than just over-the-top excited. So this morning, after I got ready for work, I woke Jeremy up and showed him my positive pregnancy test, which I had saved for just this purpose (in a plastic baggie, don't worry!). He opened one eye, looked at it, scrunched up his face and opened the other eye. Finally he said, "Does that say 'pregnant'?" I said, "Yes, it does, and it's mine." He kind of smiled and said something along the lines of "well, cool." As good a response as I could ask for that early and with that little sleep, I guess! A few hours later, when he woke up for the day, Jeremy called me at work and said, "Did you show me a pregnancy test this morning, or did I dream that?" I assured him that yes, I did show it to him, and that it was true. He's pretty excited, I think, and keeps reassuring me that everything will be fine. We are not telling anyone else just yet, but talking about it with Jeremy makes it a little more real!

I already have a Dr. appointment scheduled for September 10, for an annual exam, which should work out nicely for a first appointment. According to the websites I've looked up, I should be 5 weeks pregnant as of today. That means my baby's heart and some other major organs are being formed as I write! Exciting... The estimated due date is April 30, which sounds like a good time to me! I am ready to get to the doctor and let her confirm that everything is okay. For the moment, though, I feel good, so I might as well allow myself a little bit of cautious joy!