Remembering

Yesterday was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  My thoughts were with the many, many families suffering the loss of their babies, however new or old the loss may be.

Many of my thoughts turned toward one person whose story has had a big impact on me during the past year.  I "met" Heather on an online message board for monochorionic/monoamniotic pregnancies.  Some of you may know that we were originally diagnosed with this rare, extremely high-risk type of twin pregnancy.  Heather lives in the same area that I do, and was about 13 weeks along in her pregnancy when we began corresponding.  I don't know if she knows how comforting it was to find someone so nearby who was experiencing the same emotions and fear that Jeremy and I were during that time.

Blessedly, at a later ultrasound, a membrane was found separating our babies, meaning they only shared the chorionic sac.  Heather never got that great news.  Almost exactly one year ago her precious baby boys, Joshua and Jake, were born still at 19 weeks, due to cord entanglement (the main risk of a mono/mono pregnancy).

So many times throughout the rest of my pregnancy and during these first months with Addison and Mackenzie I have thought of Heather and her family.  I can't imagine the pain they felt when they had to let go of their sweet boys, and I know they would give anything to have them here in their arms now.  It's just cruel for a mother to have to bury her child, that's the best word I can find for it.  Yet so many have to do it, and somehow, they find the strength to keep living.  I spent yesterday saying many prayers for families who have experienced this pain, that they may somehow find peace.  I also held my babies tight and thanked the Lord for allowing me this time with them.  If you know someone who has experienced a loss, tell them you're thinking of them and their child; I'm sure they would appreciate it.