Since she was a tiny little 5 lb. thing, I have called Addison my "Little Addison". She was a bit smaller than Mackenzie for quite awhile, and she has just always seemed a little more petite and delicate. While Mackenzie will gladly stand in the middle of a room full of our family and perform all her little tricks to make us laugh, Addison is more likely to stand quietly on the sidelines, watching intently until she's ready to step up and copy her sister. Because of this little delicate nature, I have felt a bit more protective of Addison at times.
Sweet and innocent, right?
Well...
I'm thinking she is starting to outgrow the shy and delicate aspects of her personality.
Little Addison is proving more and more lately that there is nothing "little" about either her personality or her lungs. She doesn't use any words consistently yet, but she sure can use that little pointer finger to indicate what she wants. If you misunderstand or, heaven forbid, deny her what she wants, watch out. Little Addison has learned to throw the mother-of-all tantrums.
At 15 months, my child can throw a temper tantrum that alternately makes me want to burst into tears or giggle uncontrollably. (What? You don't get the urge to laugh when your toddler is face down on the floor in a pool of snot and tears because her sister has the pink sippy cup she wants? Is that just me?) I'm not talking about just any old breakdown that toddlers have when they're overtired, agitated, or seeking attention. I am talking about an all-out, limp-bodied, red-faced, tears-streaming FIT. She throws her hands around, hitting anything in her way (me, herself, the wall, etc.), and generally just ends up face-down on the floor, screaming her little heart out. THIS IS NOT A LEARNED BEHAVIOR...the girls are generally only around other kids at church and I don't know of much tantrum-throwing going on in the nursery there.
Seriously, though, is this normal for 15 months? I expected it at two, sure...and I've heard the threes are even worse than the twos for a lot of kids. But 15 months? Are you kidding me?! If there is this much drama now, what will it be like when she is two or three? I need a good, strong drink just thinking about it...and I don't even drink!
Like many new parents, and especially parents of multiples, I spent most of the first year just trying to get through the day. It's just now really starting to sink in that these are little people I am raising. The things we do now will shape their attitudes and actions forever...the way we parent them now will affect their entire lives. That's a pretty sobering thought, and I realize I need to spend a lot more time thinking and praying about this issue.
How do I shape my children into the ladies I want them to eventually be? How do I deal with this temper in a way that prepares Addison for the future? How do I stay sane during the next, oh, twenty years or so? Should I start drinking now or wait until they're three and I really need it? (Just kidding!)
What's the secret??
I don't have any answers, but there sure are a lot of thoughts swimming around in my head. I want to raise these girls to be the amazing women I know they can be, and there's a huge challenge in that. I am realizing more and more all the time just how daunting this task of parenting really is. It's about far more than dirty diapers and laundry and sleeping through the night. I am responsible for their LIVES, for better or worse, and that feels like a heavy load right now.
What a sweet and innocent picture ;) I don't think I believe the tantrum thing! Haha! My girls definitely switched personalities around a year old. The shy and content one became the loud and demanding one! Guess it comes with the deal! FYI: When I ask my mom for twin advice (having raised two VERY WILD twin girls), her response is that she chose not to remember those first few years! Yikes!
ReplyDeleteOh, I remember that phase. I vividly remember thinking to myself "but they're not even TWO yet! I will be ready for the terrible twos, just not yet!" The Terrible pre-twos just don't end. We're in the throws of three and there's no end in sight. (sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear) As for the sippie thing, I bought three sets of identical sippies, there's a blue and a green one. They know their colors and they only get their color. Helps keep colds from going back and forth too often too.
ReplyDeleteAs for curbing the tantrums? When you find the solution- let me know! With them being so young, there's not much you can do. When they were young and throwing a fit (at home)I would place them back in their crib and shut the door until they were ready to calm down. Sometimes I still do that. Now I've got a jar system going with rewards and whatnot- I'm blogging about it later- after it's thoroughly tested.
Good luck! I find it funny that your Addison is so petite and demure. My Addison was the bigger one. The smaller one is now such a card- so silly and rambunctious.
That phase is what I called "Drama Queen" at least Paola is like that (when she was younger was better but now,ugh).
ReplyDeleteI just told D this morning that these kids are starting to throw temper tantrums, so reading your comments eagerly :)
ReplyDeleteShe looks so innocent - I'm sure you must be mistaken ????
Yes, raising kids is definitely a responsibility, esp knowing we can mess them up. I tell myself often, "they're God's kids!"
Deanna, this made me laugh out loud! Only because I know what you mean. Ava throws fits that make me laugh and cry at the same time. When you figure out what to do let me know!!LOL
ReplyDeleteMy 5 year old still has temper tantrums. Rarely, but it still happens every few months.
ReplyDeleteMy only advice is to know the triggers and pick your battles. ;) For me I always ask myself, "Is she tired, uncomfortable physically or hungry?" I try to head all those off at the pass.
Otherwise, I take the route of, "Mommy will talk to you when you are calm and your voice matches mine." Then I ignore the tantrum if it's at home, or we leave if it's in public.
Sometimes, I think they just have to get the anger out and when they are so little, they have no clue how to react to situations. Even the situations that we feel are just silly, like sippy cup color!
arg. this isn't letting me comment under wordpress. :( boo.
ReplyDeleteanyway. maybe she's getting it all out of her system now? maybe she'll just be a perfect angel when she's 2?? :)
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I, too, step back occasionally and think about what a huge responsibility I have been given as a parent. I want to take that responsibility very seriously...but I don't want to let the perceived enormity of it weigh me down. I will do my research and do the best job that I can, but I will also try to trust my instincts.
ReplyDeleteI just met with a couple fellow MoMs tonight for coffee - our biweekly therapy session, as we call it. :) We joked about how reading parenting books is a double-edged sword. On one hand, you want and need the information; on the other, you read about all the things you "should" be doing. I have started my most recent book twice now, and I've only gotten (twice!) to page 50. Sometimes it's just too much to digest! HA!
Hmmm ... she sounds like Jessica. Have you read Raising Your Spirited Child? I don't think all the methods the author recommends are right for my family, but she does have a lot of insight into the intensity that spirited people experience constantly.
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